View Full Version : close calls and stupid moments

02-07-2012, 03:32 PM
so there is a little story behind my master of stupidity signature (so here goes E3), some years ago I lost control of my car whilst I was drag racing and ended up in hospital, I went into heavy shock which gave me tachycardia and caused concerns of me going into cardiac arrest so much so the ER staff had the paddles on standby, for just in case.

so the stupid part all relates to just not listening, that morning driving to work I drove past a truck carrying tomb stones never seen it before and never seen it since but I joked hoping it didnt mean anything bad was going to happen, a friend who knew where I was off to that day said she had a bad feeling still didnt listen, did a burnout about one hour before and happened to stop right at the spot where another friend had crashed a few months earlier, again joked with a mate about hoping it didnt mean anything bad was going to happen, not to mention my mother told me about a tarot card reader friend she works with had told her there was a car crash going to happen to someone close to her, saying that my mother is a teacher with the dept of juvenile justice and I just ***umed if that stuff is actually true that it would have been one of the kids at her work

another mate who was with me the night of the crash came to visit the next day in hospital remarked how stupid we are to strap ourselves in and do this stuff to ourselves all just goes to show you cant help stupid and hence we are all the masters of our own stupidity

anyone else care to share their stories

02-07-2012, 05:37 PM
When I was 19 way back in 94, I had a VG Maloo. I drove out to the river where we were going to go swimming and basically chill out. I decided I was going to do an overtime on night shift later that night so I took a mattress out to have a rest on. Well on the dirt road I was driving pretty hard and the mattress almost came out. I stopped and jumped in the back and let my friend drive the final bit. That is where is went completely wrong. They tried doing what I was doing, lost control and ended up airborne. I did too, came down on the side of the ute and snapped my femur just above the knee. I was in complete pain until the ambulance got there over an hour later. Another mate who was there held the lower half of my leg while I tried holding the femur coz the bone kept trying to lift for some reason

02-07-2012, 10:35 PM
a few people have already heard of my attempt to change the oil in my car a couple of years back.. but for those that missed it.
i was in the middle of an oil change,

car in driveway, oil all drained, trying to get the filter off to replace it. low an behold, cant get a good grip on it cause the front end was too low to ground to get under it cause of the angle of the driveway...

just for your viewing pleasure, this ^^ is the driveway. note i was parked along the far side of the driveway, about half way up the driveway.

now heres the stupid moment, in my attempts to get to the oil filter i had the great idea... move it forward to get it to flat ground to access filter... now im not completely stupid... i didnt start the engine with no oil or anything... no.... i put the car in neutral, took the hand brake off... and unaided by any person or thing... tried to push my car... (weighing how much) UP THE SLOPED DRIVEWAY.

which, i know this might come as a shock... but suprisingly the car started rolling backwards!
i was standing inside driver side door, trying to push, so as the car is rolling backwards... the door is opening wider as its trying to run me over... which puts the door wide enough to do.... this...
which caused this


took me nearly an hour to get it off the retainer wall as it was jammed there on the wall and against the letter box.
about $3000 done to the car, nothing but a little scrape to the retainer wall and letter box.

02-07-2012, 10:36 PM

02-07-2012, 11:35 PM
You supposed to be telling stories of yourself (as in making yourself look stupid) just like Nives. I remember that story although it didnt come with pictures back then.

I have a few silly ones but i'm struggling to think of one that tops that. At this stage you have the cake Nives!!!

02-07-2012, 11:36 PM
I have another one, when I was 16 this time.
A mate of mine's dad was a builder and to save cost in driving his hino truck, he decided to buy an old hiace van. Well this was good because he used to leave it out the front and to 2 sixteen year olds this was asking to be driven. One night we took it for a quick drive which got the blood pumping coz neither of us were licenced. The next weekend we did the same, but this time his dad parked it in the yard, so late at night we had to push it out the yard then drive it. This night we took it all over town. When we got near his house the police were ahead waiting for us to p***, but we slowed down thinking we were gone but luckily the police just went. So this boosted confidence. The following weekend his parents went to Townsville to a concert and we organised another excursion, this time 5 of us.
We didn't really have a plan so we were really bored, the 5 of us drove out to the motocross track where a race was on. Straight away we were a hit with kids our age coz we were driving. Anyway we left there to go somewhere else and on the way we ended up driving on a road known as rubies ridge, it's a few kilometre road that is slippery. My mate was driving, I was in the middle and another mate beside me and 2 more in the back (no seats just tools and building materials). Everything was good until he decided to go as fast as it could go (about 95km/h) and started fish tailing. He slid it slightly one way then the other which stepped the van out so he over corrected it which swung us violently the other way so he full locked it which sent us rolling at full noise straight through some poor people's property (luckily this was not in town where there was space). We rolled 3 1/2 times. None of us wore seat belts, the driver went thru the windscreen and broke his neck and leg, and one of the boys in the back broke his jaw because of a brick that was building material. Nothing happened to us 3. The driver spent 3 months in hospital with his head unable to turn and had screws in his forehead with a frame around it. Had a big mirror above him so he could see who was visiting him.
Extremely dumb 16yo kids but very lucky to have survived.

02-07-2012, 11:41 PM
Akanives I like your story, brilliant :-)

02-07-2012, 11:43 PM
I must have lived a sheltered life!!!! I cant top that. I bow out.

03-07-2012, 12:00 AM

03-07-2012, 12:20 AM
Last one from me. I was 15 this time and on a motorbike (I have way too many)
This isn't about a crash but still dumb.

I got my first motorbike at 15 in 1990. It was the biggest heap of sh!t but I liked it. Was a 1974 Honda CB100. Ugly as hell and very rough. The fuel tank had one bolt at the base so it moved a lot, the kick start didn't return so I wired it up after starting and the fuel cap was missing the seal so at speed fuel would leak everywhere. Was a death trap. A mate had a Kawasaki KLR250 and we'd ride everywhere, mostly tracks but we'd cross roads and ride down the side of highways but we stuck with roads we knew and trusted. One day we were riding all over these big hills making our own tracks, my mate said "follow me", which was a mistake. His bike was an enduro, suited to this style of riding, mine was a mid 70's road bike, low n gutless. Anyway I followed him and hit a rock which caused the gear selector to fold under the bike, locking me in second gear and snapped my rear brake lever which were the only brakes i had. I was pissed, swore at him for wanting to go this way and said I was going home to fix it. We rode back down the hill and when we got to the road we usually just cross it straight into bushland again keeping us away from traffic and is also quickest way home. But Adam said "come this way, safer for no brakes", signalling with his head to go the long way which is by road. I was too annoyed to argue but followed in 2nd. We got about 2km down the road where we rounded a curve only to come face to face with the police.
They had Adam already with his helmet off taking down his details by the time I came stalling to a stop coz no brakes and only a clutch for neutral. He told me to get off my bike and remove my helmet and took my name. When I put my bike on its stand the fuel tank nearly fell off and everyone heard the tinny sound it made. The copper ignored it and kept writing. He then said "can you's smell fuel? Where's it coming from". I said "that'll be my bike".
He walked over and had a look at my bike and looked horrified "are you some kind of idiot riding that around" he said, "we're going to leave this way and hope to Christ we don't catch you again now get out of here".
So we were let off but took a while to see the funny side, especially since Adam told everyone about what they said to me. Prick.

03-07-2012, 11:23 AM
When I was 18 my best mate bought a telstar tx5 turbo (for memory). Had his Licence for 12 hours. Driving down maroondah hwy coming from the dandenongs doing about 160. He goes "she handles beautifully" and proceeded to turn the wheel left and right quickly causing the car to fishy down the road still at 160 when it went into a spin.
The car spun twice and mounted the center median strip with the 2 front wheels on the strip and the 2 rears on the road sliding sideways p***enger side first. My side.
All I could see were trees and polls wizzing past so fast inches from the front bar. We slid for what seemed an eternity at god knows what speed.
Eventually we came to a stop and we weren't hurt but it's the stupidest thing I've ever seen and I'll never forgive him.
Car needed a wheel alignment but that's it.

03-07-2012, 06:31 PM
I've got heaps but no time to type them out at the moment.

Lets just say I was fifteen when I wrote my first car off by running into the back off a parked truck at 75km/hr. Good thing was it was a Ford and allowed me to buy an SLR5000. :)

LS3 050
03-07-2012, 07:09 PM
Aka, That's some funny shit, and the fact that it comes with pictures!!! even better! I would have been WAY too pissed off to think of grabbing a camera. Keep up the good work.

24-07-2012, 11:29 PM
danym thats pretty funny ....hav a couple myself, after working 10-14hr days for 2 months straight was driving home out in the country and woke up to see the bridge i was supposed to be driving over to the left of me...so at about 50 miles an hour flew across the creek and hit the bank, knocked out, when i "came to" i was sitting in water up to my chest everything was dark lifted my hands and heard something dripping looked up ohh no windscreen oh must have been in a car accident so ihad to climb out where the windscreen used to be stand on the bonnet and jump across to the bank and crawl up stand on the road and wave down a car the first car didnt want to stop for it must have looked like a horror movie with all the blood on my face out in the middle of nowhere with no car in sight the second guy told his taxi driver to stop and gave me alift glad i had my seatbelt on..

25-07-2012, 04:02 PM
i fell asleep under a car in a pub car park once cause i was smashed and it was raining, and when i woke up in the morning the car had driven off !!!

25-07-2012, 05:21 PM
One and only (very long time ago) drink driving experience. In my XB GS manual driving home from a Wednesday wine night in Newcastle. One eye closed down Hunter street cause that was the only way I could see one line, got home (some 35 km away) unscathed. Anyway next morning (well later that morning) when I left for work my car was shuddering?? I discovered I had flat spotted the fronts because every set of lights, that were red, I came up to the night before I skidded to a stop. One new set of tyres, and a very serious talking to myself later, I have never ever driven when having a drink since and never will. Not even after just one beer.

Someone was watching over me that night that is for sure....